I want to address your concern about them feeling like they "have to" because of your relationship. Remember that is what ALL families feel like! :-) Many times I am asked by close friends or family to babysit or help out in other ways, and I don't always want to do it, but ususally I do. Why? Because I love them and know that they will help me when I need it. I am also the type of person that will say no if I need to. They may not be (my MIL is one of those, I don't dare ask her for babysitting help b/c I know she will say yes, even if she doesn't want to).
Just wanted to throw that out there. Since you guys are family, that may indeed be the case, but I imagine that you have been able to be honest about much harder things. Saying "be sure and tell me no if you can't, I won't mind" will be a piece of cake!!
P.S. Thanks for your nice words. I don't think that things will change any time soon and it makes my heart hurt. Situations like yours give me hope. There ARE aparents out there that want what you have and it is also very hard for us when the birthfamily disappears and changes their level of involvement. I know it isn't the same as birth mothers being ditched by their afamilies and loosing them, but I have had a small taste of it and it stinks.
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