You are SO not alone!
Lexie - I feel for you! I have been there! I send you lots of hugs!
I went through this last spring, about 3 or 4 months after my kids were placed with me. I wrote about it in my journal, if you're interested.
One of the biggest lifesavers was a book called "The Post-Adoption Blues : Overcoming the Unforseen Challenges of Adoption" by Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson. It is AWESOME and validated everything I was going through.
Apparently half of all biological mothers AND half of all adoptive mothers experience some type of post partum or post placement depression. I think that as adoptive moms we're even less likely to talk about it. Because we went through so much to become moms and did so so deliberately, people expect us to happy and grateful 24/7. It is a very isolating experience. If you ever need to talk or need advice, feel free to PM me.
Please take care of yourself and know that it DOES get better and it is VERY NORMAL to go through this!
HUGS!!!
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"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here, we might as well dance!"
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