[crabcakes]

May I ask why you decided to adopt your stepchild? I looked over your blog and it was very helpful, but you never said why you went through with the adoption.

We have several reasons for wanting this adoption without his consent - even if he decides to start being a parent, good or bad: (1) He has an extensive criminal background and we feel that her safety and stability would be compromised. (2) I, personally and maybe selfishly, need comfort in knowing that my daughter will continue to be with the only father she knows, if something were to happen to me. (3) We would like to start traveling the world and living abroad, but unable to do so. (4) I want to support my daughter and her wishes - and she wants to be adopted and have nothing to do with a man that she's met only a few times during the last 10 years. (5) We don't feel comfortable with him making any legal decisions about her. (6) I can't fully support a relationship that is influenced by ego and as you put it "a kick in the butt" - especially if a relationship never existed.

I guess I could go on and on, but if we are looking for the best interest of our daughter - the adoption is the best way to go. If he wants to start having contact with her, I can understand that and will respect that, but my husband's position as being her full support should also be respected. Loving and caring for a child goes beyond biology and legality.