[tobeafamily]

I'm only aware of three situations where closed was preferred. One involved bmom who did not want any openness. She had abused substances during the pregnancy. Aparents suspected she did not want to 'face' what she had done to the baby inside her.

Because of state law, aparents had her identifying information and she was given theirs. She told them she was destroying the info she had lest her daughter find it. She gave permission to be contacted ONLY in case of medical emergency.

Child is now almost 5 and has not heard a word from bmom. Interestingly though they've had contact from the daughter, now 19 or so YOA, who saw their newspaper ad for a second child adoption and called to see if maybe the toddler in the paper was her biological half-sibling. It was, they've exchanged phone calls and pictures.

In another situation bmom was a 13 YO victim of incest. For her behavioral health and for safety reasons involving her family, bfamily insisted on zero contact and have held to that for years.

Last one was a bmom who hid her pregnancy from her strictly religious family. No contact, though the familly has a website up with pictures on it that they update regularly in hopes that bmom will visit and see.

Regina