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Originally Posted By Pam

If you don't feel he is appropriate with your daughter, I wouldn't let him see her. Furthermore, I'd make him go to court to get visitation and prove he really WANTS her in his life. It is hard for kids to have here today/gone tomorrow parents. We have an open adoption with our youngest. Her birthmother stays in her life, but her birthfather is so fleeting that I think I'll wait for her to turn 18 to let her see him again.....afraid it will be too hurtful for him to break his promises to her. Basically, we (hub and me) are her parents....we are the ones who raise her and love her on a daily basis. But we know that adopted kids do have feelings for their birthparents and she, fortunately, has an awesome birthmother (not so sure about the birthfather). I welcome everyone into her life who loves her, like we do. I don't think I'd let anyone new enter her life at her age (she is 4). These people have been in her life since we brought her home from the hospital. Sounds like your daughter's biodad is really living right with you and is married to you. A sperm donor doesn't make one a father. Good luck with your decision. I've watched your posts here and, at first, I thought "she's just a kid." I have grown to respect your intelligence and maturity (far beyond your years, I believe). You are a good mother. Trust your instincts on this. You know your daughter best.