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I would say go with what your heart says you can handle and are open to. We adopted a US newborn 15yrs ago, when our three bios were 3, 5, and 7. She was a busy toddler and child! When we felt we were ready for another adoption, she was 7. We said we were open to a child 2-5yrs, because we were past the age we thought it would be fair to bring home another infant and also didn't want too many years between. Our son came home at the age of 4yrs. No attachment issues, was speaking only English after two months, and is a terric 11yr old now. Our second son also came home at the age of 4yr, though both boys' referrals were as 2 1/2yr olds. Again, no attachment issues and he was speaking only English after 6mo. We never felt language issues were that difficult. In fact, we have great memories of some very comical conversations. We brought our new daughter home from Guatemala one yr ago at the age of ten. She also learned English in a few short months, though at her age, social language and language needed for academics is very different. I realize you aren't considering such an older child, but I share this to express my belief that kids can adapt well at any age, if they've had consistent love and care, as ours did in the same small, private orphanage in Guatemala...and if they come to a home where they are respected for their personalities, but challenged to be their best. From my vantage point, dealing with more complicated issues with a 10yr old girl, toddler adoption doesn't seem to hold many difficult concerns. I'm not trying to make light of things which will be frustrating and challenging. Toddlers will bring those moments into our lives. My advice is just to be certain you understand possible concerns, prepare yourself for those possibilities, but don't go into things expecting the worst. To be honest, I did little reading about attachment, but listened to our agency's advice on how to transition our child. We were blessed in that our kids didn't come with difficult issues...only typical childhood issues. As you can read on these forums, many of us have had very successful toddler/older child adoptions. I am always thrilled to hear of older kids finding families!
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