Hi,
My husband and I married when my step-daughter was about 8. She loved me to death!!....THEN! LOL We have had our battles.
She is now 14. We still have our battles, and I still feel sometimes that she loves me best when I am "handing out" the things that she wants, BUT...I just keep on praying and plugging, because I know she loves me.
I keep working to instill values in her and I let her know that even if she gets mad, I am her mom, not her best bud. I have rules...she will follow them. I love her, even when she doesn't love me.
I let her know when she hurts me, and I apologize if I hurt her. We are getting there. I don't know that we will ever be as close as I would like, but I know she will be better and I will too for what we have gone through together. (being drunk at age 13
/drug her out of a house with two boys at age 12 1/2
/these were really tough, because my husband is a preacher)
She hugs me now...stiff sometimes, but a hug...sometimes I grab her and hug her really hard and kiss her smack on the forehead and she cracks up!!
She has definitely helped get me ready for foster kids.
You will be in my prayers. Keep us updated.
(by the way, my step-daughter's mom died when she was 5...I know that she doesn't want to get close because she is afraid of losing someone again. That could be true in your daughter's case too)
Hang in there!
