[mom2GRLC]

My mother died when i was 16 from skin cancer that was removed but had spread to her lymph system all over her body.

What I cherish the most are those last few months where we knew she was going to pass away. I was able to write my feelings out in my journal to help me with the loss I knew was coming. My fondest memory was when I layed in bed with my Mom just starring into her eyes and studying every detail of her face.

When ever i miss her the most I think back to that time, or think back to the comoft I felt laying my head on her chest and snuggling with her.

I missed her not only on those imporant days like graduation, the day I was married, the adoption days for my children. But especially those very difficult days that just sneek up on you from nowhere, where your whole body just aches for and wants to feel her embrace to make it all better. What I miss the most is the everyday stuff, the relationship I will never have with her(as an adult....as a mother myself, the questions I'd like to ask her about my childhood...etc).

I think not having her does make me a stronger mother. I know how precious life is and how quickly those you love can be taken from you. I cherish every little thing and try and keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings and things i want my kids to know, so if someday something should happen to me, they can have more than just memories of me, they can have my words, and pictures and home video to remember just how much I truly cherished them and so they can find answers and inspiration through my words.

I also enjoy those quiet times with my children as I gaze into their eyes and we study each others faces. Where all you see is just pure love and smiles. Priceless memories that can never be replaced!!!!