[DebCsMom]

We have 3 total open adoptions. Each one is different. With our 5 year old we see her BMom, who lives in another state, one to two times a year. We drive there, spend the weekend in a hotel or with BMom parents. She has 3 1/2 siblings now who are with her BMom, 1 older & 2 younger. In between visits we call each other and I send TONS of pictures. When an exciting event happens, our DD will call her BMom & share it with her. Like when shelost her first tooth, first day of Soccer, first day of kindergarten, first learned to tie her shoes, etc. She isn't confused at all about who she is or about her adoption.

Our 3 year olds BMom we see 4-5 times a year. She lives only a couple hours away. Our first visit with her was when our DD was 3 months old. We drive to her house, pick her up for the weekend or a few days & then her parents come to bring her home. In between visits we exchange phone calls, emails & many pictures. She has even babysat for us a couple of times!! It's kind of a joke we have...when we leave the house we remind her that kidnapping is a felony! LOL At 3 years old she too understands about adoption, as much as a 3 year old can. She knows that she grew in her BMoms belly. We show her pictures of those days before she came home.

Our 2year olds BMom we first saw on His 2nd birthday. She lived a few states away at the time of his birth. She has since moved only a couple hours away. BUT, we had visits with his BGrandma, BAunt & his 3 siblings a few times. The day before his 2nd birthday & 23 days before his BSisters birthday we went there & had a birthday party for the 2 of them. Again, we had many phone calls & I sent TONS of pictures to BMom in between. He is only 2 but knows that when he sees the picture of his BMom holding him that we keep on his dresser, he knows that is his BMom "N". He of course has no idea what that means, but when he gives the picture a kiss every night, he tells her he loves her.

Every family is different. You can only do what you are comfortable with. What the BParents are comfortable with. You have to make choices that are right for you & your family. Our kids have MANY Grandparents! They call ALL the BGrandparents Grandma & Grandpa. How many kids can say they have 5 sets of Granparents who love them & hug them & send them ALL gifts!

We are very blessed to have such great Birth families!! Our children are blessed to have so much family who love them! I don't kow where I heard this from but I LOVE the quote...

"Open adoption doesn't complicate our lives, it COMPLIMENTS it!"

Deb