[spaypets]

When do you think birthparents should meet the child?
Um, at birth? I mean, the bmother is there right?

Seriously, if you're planning on having and ongoing face- to-face relationships with the bfamily then I think the visits should be done in infancy and continue on so that the bfamily are just more people who love the baby.

If you're not able to do lots of visits for whatever reason, you can still "introduce" the birth family the same way we "introduced" my husband's family. Their pictures are on our refrigerator, we have videotapes of them reading stories to my daughter. They send cards and gifts and we make sure she knows about them.

Even though we don't know my daughter's bfamily (international adoption) we include them when we tell her story to her, and we do that every month or so and have since she came home.