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I just wanted to share our story... I hope it will answer some of your questions...
For starters, I STRONGLY believe that being involved with the birthparents (extended family whatever) is in no way confusing to a child... if we are all open and honest, but perhaps my view is skewed because I grew up with divorced parents, 1/2 and whole siblings, siblings by marriage etc... but throughout it all I understood who my parents were and why my brother lived with my dad and stepmom (he was her son)...
After our son was born, we spend time with our birthmom in the hospital and got together with her and her family the day we left town. She showed us pictures of her girls (Aidan's sisters) and told us all about them but because it was such an emotional time for her she didn't want the girls to be around because they would get upset if she was upset... fast forward 6 months, we talked on the phone all the time but around 6 months is when we first got together again... we met at the Zoo near their house so that everyone could get reacquainted and then we spent the weekend visiting with her family at their house. At the Zoo we met Aidan's sister for the first time, they knew who Aidan was but also understood that we were his mommy & daddy... (if he cried her oldest would say 'don't cry your mommy is right there' and point to me)... since then we have visited many times... it seems the most natural thing in the world and we believe that Aidan will benefit from this openness in his adoption...
Hope that helps.
gina.
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