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Originally Posted by jammit
Ambiguous loss. It hurts.
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I agree with that 100%.
The day I found out that my birthmother had died, I cried and cried. The whole time I was crying, I kept thinking "Why is this affecting me so much?" She had died before I got to meet her, during my search for her. She never knew that I was searching for her. I was so surprised at how easily the tears came, day after day, whenever I thought about it. What keeps coming to my mind is something that my 17 year old son said to me after I read the letter. He said "I don't know what to say to you Mom, but I'm just glad you're here for me." I thought that was so sweet and it keeps me focused on what's important in my life right now. Don't get me wrong, I still think of her daily and luckily I've made contact with her sister, my birth-aunt, and we plan to meet soon, so I'm still searching for answers.
If there is
anyone in your birthfamily that you feel would be truthful with you, then by all means, ask them about it. Don't put it off just because you don't want to upset them or feel that you don't deserve to know. You deserve to know just as much as anyone else does in the family. If they can't handle that, it's their problem.
Hope you are able to find your answers.
Just know we are here if you need us,
Jennie
