I'm not quite ready to start with opening up as things are still very raw at the moment but enough said that I can't handle my son's behaviour any more. He has said things that aren't quite as they would appear as he has twisted events/things that have been said to suit himself. I am so hurt and upset by his behaviour that I can't emotionallly tolerate it any more yet according to him I'm the "bad guy" here and he's done nothing wrong. I feel the only solution is for me to stop contact altogether ... he doesn't want me to contact him for a while anyway. However I have had enough completely and for once my husband is finally backing me up. Before when I got like this he would tell me to persevere as he didn't want me "rejecting" my son as he would feel rejected/abandoned for a second time but my husband understands now how much much this is affecting me emotionally. Since reunion my self esteem and self confidence had finally started to improve plus my feelings of worthlessness were diminishing despite the rough patches. What my son had to say yesterday has put me way back again and I feel angry about that as I do know I'm a better person than how he is trying to make me out to be. I have to end reunion before I lose my last bit of self respect and pride. I don't want to do this but I really can't see my son putting a stop to taking his anger out on me every time he reads/hears something bad about me. Ultimately it isn't my fault that the people he has contacted who know me don't like me nor is it my fault that the reason(s) for this is to do with him. Fortunately my dh and friends will support me as much as they can even though they don't understand what I'm feeling. I really need support at the moment from those who do understand what I'm going through.
Pip
