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Holly,
I don't have advice, but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your losses - both of a potential child through adoption and the potential of pregnancies without IVF.
Our situation was different - it isn't infertility but a medical issue (and complication from my pregnancy with our first) that led us to adoption. We knew we would have another high risk pregnancy, with the possibility of loss and a guarantee of prematurity.
We have not had an easy time of adoption (and have switched from domestic transracial to adopting from Ethiopia afer a difficult fall). While some say "you can always adopt" that isn't, as you know, how it works, and it certainly isn't how it feels. Yet we do not regret our decision to bring our little one home from ethiopia.
I'm sorry for your pain, and I wish you the very best as you make this decision.
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