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Hi Melissa,
I don't know how closed a closed adoption is. I am pretty sure that if someone really is motivated to search, they would find a way to locate their birthparents, one way or the other.
That's just a speculation based on what I've learned on this site, with all the searches and reunions from previous closed adoptions.
I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation. Hope my answer isn't disappointing or hurtful for you, I admit, I don't know much about closed adoptions so I'm sure there might be other people more helpful for you.
My very best to you, Melissa.
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