[Volfe]

Oh I tore that article out until I could gather my calmer emotions to write that stupid columnist. I felt that 'Abby' was totally irresponsible in writing her uninformed opinion that such contact was excessive. Many people will read that first sentence and stop there. I can picture many copies of that response being cut out to be shown to someone more open than they...
I think the remorse should be curbed a bit, do not make the daughter feel guilt for something she had no control over - she deserves only happiness right now, she is too young to handle the heaviness IMO. When she is older and can understand - not absorb, not burden hersself with guilt - well, then she could be approached, shown the poetry. But Abby should have perhaps explained that adoption - for all its happinesses - is also a system of Loss and Pain - equal measures perhaps. To some degrees adoptees feel sad over the losses involved, theirs, their first families, the what ifs, and the adoptive parents should be told that this is a part of the path that must be walked with their daughter with their wisdom, love and guidance... and also with the birth mother on the path too.

Abby's answer stunk.

Maia