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I just wanted to add my voice to all the others here saying that it's really ok to grieve the loss of a bio. Child even while you are waiting for the arrival of your two little ones. My husband and I lost a little boy in 2003 at 14 weeks and then another little boy, Luke, in 2004 after 4 hours of life. I know that I have grieved for my precious babys alot since then and that's ok. I have two little figurines that I keep out on top of our entertainment center where they are easily seen that are dedicated to my boys. Next to them are little cards saying the date and time of their deaths and then the words, we loved you all your life. For some reason those things help me, because anyone who is over at my house sees them and often ask about them. That way I feel like they are remembered. I have been so blessed in the last year with the birth of our son Graham who is healthy and wonderful, but I know that there were even times durring my pregnancy that I grieved for Luke and Moses. You can feel that grief wether the child you are expecting is biological or adopted. Perhaps, if the person throwing you the shower was ok with it, ask if everyone there would pause with you to pray thanking the Lord for this wonderful opportunity to become a mom after the loss of your baby, or something like that. In that way your bio baby is remembered in a respectfull way at the begining of the shower and you can the enjoy being with friends and family knowing that they know of your grief and respect it. Anyway, it's just an idea, but I really hope that this experience is a blessing for you. I'll be praying. God bless------Leah
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