[EvieBmac]

This is a tough one. I think that as long as you are aware of the feelings common to adoptees and don't fear addressing them, you should be okay. I think there are plenty of adoptees who grow-up feeling a strong sense of being part of their afamily. My husband was not so fortunate.
My husband, an adoptee, whose aparents had a bioson 4 years after my husband's adoption, never treated them equally and my husband felt like a "guest" in the home. Bioson was given special treatment, got braces, sent to college, got whatever was necessary, etc. My husband never had braces and rarely saw a dentist after the age of 14(despite the fact that both of his front teeth had been fractured from childhood events). He had an easily-fixable foot birthdefect that aparents never felt was necessary to surgically address (despite their pediatricians repeated attempts to get them to take action). This caused him to be unable to participate in most sports and was "awkward" about running and playing. I asked his amom why she never had this surgery (my husband would have been about 4 to be old enough to have it done back then) and she said that "dh told her he didn't want it." I said to her "well he was 4, you listened to a 4 year old?" She just kept repeating that "dh didn't want it, he just didn't want it..." He was not given the opportunity/sent/encouraged to look into attending college, even though he voiced his desire for engineering (and was an honor student all through HS). They asked him to move out when he was 18 and never helped him with a thing after that.
Thankfully, dh is resillient and independent, and forged his own way through. I look at the positive though, without this adversity he would not be the wonderful man he is today. But he has had a lot of rejection/pain (beyond the "normal" adoptee feelings of rejection from his afamily that he's had to come to terms with (therapy, etc.). I like to think his case is unusual, but to look at his afamily from the outside - they look "picture perfect", so how can you ever know?
Dh continues to be a good son to his aparents - always helping them around the house, and whatever they need. I am amazed at his love and compassion sometimes.

sorry this got to be so long - best of luck to you!