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Originally Posted By Pam

I don't have a close family...I was always on the independent side and got called "black sheep" because I made my own choices and decisions and didn't follow family "norms." Therefore, I kind of had to go my own path, and am glad I have had to. Because I'm not close to my mom, dad, sister, brother and various uncles and aunts (I really have a very small family), we don't ask or care what people in our families think about what we do. And since we don't see them for holidays, we don't hear w hat they think of our non-white kids. The friends we hang out with are all adoptive parents (mostly transracial) and interracial families, so that works for us. If any of my friends or family dared to make any racial cracks that I heard about, we just wouldn't ever see them again...not even sometimes. Not only can't we tolerate racists, but it is bad for our kids to see us tolerate people who don't like people of their race, imo. And our kids are most important to us...not adults, who can take care of themselves. Our families created the families they wanted, and we are entitled to do the same. Anyone who said "You have to supervise your kids at all times or they can't over, blah, blah, blah..." would be off my list of friends or family members that we even bothered with. When we do this, imo, our kids needs HAVE to come first, and being around racists or people who plain don't like adopted kids can be very hurtful. I've had comments made to me by strangers right in front of my kids....comments from family/close friends would be far worse for the kids. Our dumbest comment, imo, was when we first adopted our little girl from Korea. She was five months old..MONTHS old. I had just gotten her and I took her out for a stroll, when a lady who worked at a nearby store we always went to, happened to see me with my new baby and came over to us. She looked at my daughter as well as my then seven year old son that we adopted from Hong Kong and squinted, then said, "Oh!! I guess you got another one of those! Is that his sister?" In exasperation, I said that she was his sister thru adoption, but that she was from Korea and that he was from Hong Kong. She squinted at me again,t hen said, "So they ARENT brother and sister? Really?" At that point, I was about to walk away, when she looked at my little five month old daughter again, who was cooing and smiling in her baby way, and she asked, "DOES SHE SPEAK ENGLISH OR CHINESE?" I gave her a cool look and said, "First of all, she is Korean. Second of all, because she is only five months old, she doesn't speak at all." Then I moved on, shaking my head, and never EVER went into the store this woman worked at again. I have yet to meet anyone else as ignorant as she was.