|
Thanks for your responses to my question. Grief and joy come in such waves. That's one of the things I'm learning through this process. One day I can be elated to bring my girls home (our adopted girls), and the next day my grief comes up over the little one I lost. Its hard sometimes allowing both to coexist, but that's what I have to do. I have to allow my excitement to surface my grief, and my grief to add to my excitement. Its easier to write about that than it is to really allow that to happen and to have to feel it all. Sometimes grieving feels dishonoring to my adoptive girls that I'm preparing for, and my excitement feels at times like I've forgotten (or other people have forgotten) our baby we lost. But I know that neither are true. A friend said to me recently that our two babies we're bringing home both lost a mommy and a daddy and you lost a child. You have more in common in your grief than you know. We've all experienced a deep loss and that is some of what will connect us. I thought that was wise! Today is a good day. I'm planning for my girls and having fun buying them clothes and painting their rooms. What a roller coaster life can be sometimes!
|