Part Two - First Contact
Around September time in 2000 I get a very strange phone call from my fiancé that someone was trying to get in touch with my using my full name. There were only two people that ever did call me by my full name. There were the types of institutions that wanted money out of me. (Read, debt collector. I was a bit carefree then). Or the was my parent’s if I was in serious trouble with them, mum especially. I was told by my fiancée Carmen that this strange woman had also asked about a previous address that I had not lived in for around 24 years and questions about mum and dad. No one knew that previous address in Ashcroft, NSW, except my parents and maybe a few close relatives. I was quite perplexed to say the least. Carmen then went on to inform me that “she” would call back later that night.
Bear in mind that I still thought I had owed money to someone so I really did not give it all that much thought. I think I may have spent more time thinking ways to get out of paying the money that I presumably owed. At around 7pm that night the phone rang and I walked apprehensively up to it and answered it. It was a woman calling herself "Mary*" and started to ask some fairly close questions such as :-
“Did you live at this address?” [Address given]
“Is this your mum?” [Name given]
“Is this your dad?” [Name given]
More questions followed which I as giving monosyllabic answers and still trying to find out where all of this was leading. She finally asked one more question which for the life of me I cannot remember. By this time I was starting to panic. Who was this woman? What government agency is this? Is it because I believe in UFO’s? Was it because I got onto the train once or twice without paying? Had the transit police finally caught up with me and I was to present my self at the nearest police station to be arrested and thrown in jail? I purposely answered that last question wrong. HA! That will throw her off. Mary then said “Oh I’m sorry, I do apologize, I have the wrong number”.
Hang on wait, it’s not supposed to be this easy to get rid of a debt collector and I still wanted to know whom it was that was asking all these questions. But Mary was just about to hang up and did sound genuinely dejected. Had to think quick but what to do? I quickly replied just before Mary hung up the receiver.
“No wait, what the hell do you want to know about my mum and dad for?” Her mood suddenly changed the sound of deflation had disappeared and new sense of determination entered her voice.
“Ok, this is about your mum”
“yeah? right?” In a non-committal tone.
“No I don’t think you understand but this is about your real mum….”
The next sound you heard was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.
“M-m-my real mum?” I looked over at Carmen and my flat mate Bill* who were just staring at me half listening to the conversation but now had somewhat confused looks on their faces. They had been talking about the strange phone call to our house earlier in the day. I guess they were curious too.
“Yes..” this is all paraphrased now as you could imagine, I was in a bit of shock!! ”..her name is Felicity* blah blah blahdy blah blah blahdy and she is a
achondroplastic dwarf .”.
“oh, ok” Still shocked. From then on it just got that little bit more surreal.
“Oh and you also have a brother, a full brother, his name is Frank* and he is two years older than you”
“I have a full brother?' as you can imagine this time Carmen and Bill were sat there looking as much of a stunned mullet as I must have looked like. The rest of the conversation seemed a bit of a blur to me now as you could well imagine. In fact the rest of the night is a bit of a blur.
I do remember discussing it with Carmen and Bill and seemed more shocked that I had a full brother! I always knew I had a mother, which went without saying but a brother. A fully-fledged brother “that..that..but…I have a brother”. I was speechless.
Mary and I finished the conversation with me confirmed that yes, I would like to keep in contact and know more about my bio-family and arrangements were made for me to call them tomorrow night to speak with my brother.
My other memory of that night was sitting under our pergola smoking cigarettes furiously and just talking about it. I also remember phoning a work colleague advising her that I would not be in work tomorrow. How could I? She did seem genuinely happy for me though. .
When people are in a state of shock they do tend to say things and do things they normally would not do. And when those things have been done, not much thought is usually given to when you actually agree to do the said things in the first place. Now I have agreed to phone my brother. A full brother that never knew even existed. As of half an hour ago I was an only child now I had a brother that I guess I always wished that I had had.
What would I say to him? What could I say to him? 27 years of talks, fights, love, friendship, hatred, borrowing, lending, punching, kicking, stealing, backing up, standing up for and all the other emotions and experiences you have with a sibling. I felt that I had to say all this in my opening sentence to him. How do I say hi? Am I suave and confident?
“Well hello there…”.
Do I be hip and cool?
“Howya doooin!”.
Nervous?
“er….er…hi?”
What does one say in a moment like this? I had no idea. What were we going to talk about?
“Well, my favorite colour is blue”
“I like turtles”
“I broke my arm once”
“I don’t have a car at the moment”
I had no idea. What do you talk about when you’re going to have a phone conversation such as this? All the questions that arose from that around ten minuet phone call from Mary sent my head in such a spin that I thought I was going to be sick. I suppose though that I would do as I normally do and bluff my way through a situation.
I got up the next morning still in a daze and spent most of the day kind of thinking what I was going to say to him. What was he like? Did he look like me? Would he accept me? Would he like the same things that I like? I tried to go about my day as normal. Yeah right, like that was going to happen. So pretty much most of my day was I spent just thinking, panicking and talking with Carmen.
The night finally came when I was to call him. Now working with phones most of my working life and calling people I do not know on a daily basis, does not worry me. It didn’t faze me to call just call someone and this occasion seemed no different, or so I looked at it. I just used my years of experience to just make the call. At least I didn’t do the thing you always seem to do when you’re around 16 and your calling a girl for the first time. You know, you dial the number and when you get to the last number you hang up. More maturity I suppose. This should be interesting. I’m going to speak to my brother. Wow! I just dialed that last digit and...
...Sh*t! It’s ringing!