[willowhawk]

I suppose I should have written a book for my first post and given the entire history of these children and maybe people would be more understanding. These four children were placed in a seperate foster home from their two older siblings (my kids). My youngest sibling of these kids, came to me at the age of 2. He was in different home, also. The foster home where the four were sent was horrific. These children suffered severe emotional and sexual abuse in this home for years before anyone even knew about it. When they were finally removed (to be adopted) it all came out. The home was shut down and the foster parents were prosecuted....but the damage was done. These kids NEVER knew what a normal parent or homelife was like. If we are going to put blame anywhere, let's start with the HIV+ cocaine addicted prostitute mother who kept having babies and telling the judge...."I've got a baby factory in my body, take them away, I'll have another." I was sitting in the court room when she made this comment! I guess she thought it was okay to keep having cocaine addicted babies! Let's also put the blame on the foster parents who severely abused these kids, and lastly for the under staffed foster care system who let them down! I feel for the adoptive mother and like others I have mixed emotions on her decision. What would I have done...I can't say, I'm not her. But, knowing myself and my strengths and my family support system, I probably would have made a different decision, but that's me. Here I sit anguishing over the situation that these children are now in. I love these kids and feel tremendously guilty that I am not stepping forward to at least take the girls (yes, I've been asked to do so) but, I, too, am a single parent. I don't feel that with my work schedule (3-11) and my responsibilities to my own children and myself, that I could upset the apple cart at this point. Am I being selfish? I suppose some people will judge me, also, but what impact would these damaged children have on my stable family. We have worked for years to get to this point, do I sacrifice that? Not to mention that I am also parenting my 3 year old grandson. I am hoping that I can be of some help to them in the future, although I'm not sure in what capacity. I do know however, that I will do whatever I can.