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Old 01-26-2006, 05:30 PM
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AmyAnne AmyAnne is offline
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Oh okay... I'm sorry... I missed that she'd been diagnosed with an attachment disorder.

Okay. Let's see, she has a therapist, then, I recall reading in one of your other posts?

Working with an attachment disordered kid is hard... it requires a lot of patience and moderation of reaction, which believe me is easier said than done! But it can work. I am amazed at the progress my guy's made in one year. He's got a long way to go still but this is not the same child as last year, that's for sure!

I would start with whatever you think is the biggest issue and get that under control first (not perfect, but managable) or I would ask the therapist for direction.

What does NOT work: In a lot of cases, taking things away for X number of days. What I've found works better is "I am taking this item and I am putting it in jail. To bail it out you have to earn it back" kinds of things.

The consequence should fit the crime, if possible.

You may have to keep switching your consequences, or you may not want to tell her the consequence ahead of time because that lets her decide if it's worth it to her.

When offering choices make sure that you can live with either choice.

"I see my necklacke is missing. You have two choices. You can tell me where you put it or you can go sit in your room until I find it." She clams up. "Okay, Go sit in your room until I either find my necklace or you're ready to tell me where you've hidden it."
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Last edited by AmyAnne : 01-26-2006 at 05:33 PM. Reason: added more info
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