[Benedicta]

Dear Jackie,

What a blessing your words are to my heart tonite !
Especially what you said about you & your Mom& her finding your son ! I can easily believe this. What a wonder !

Actually I have been having similar thoughts .

We too had a rough relationship - got worse after the baby ! Then have had a period of gradual healing , but we never really resolved the tension between us regarding my son . I reconciled my self to that a few years ago...still had the power to hurt though.

But now, I feel totally renewed in our relationship . Forgiveness comes easy now that I know she understands !!!
Interestingly enough, the day my dad died I found out I was pregnant ! Death & new life frequently occur almost simultaneously in families.
None of my babies survived , except for my first .

My mother's funeral was quite beautiful actually. All 7 of her kids spoke as well as others. Very informal, spontaneous,intimate (family only-50 were there) .We all told stories about her. It was wonderful ! We laughed & cried.

Thank you for loving the adopted ones . Me too. My son-in-law (48) is adopted & he actually has an aversion to the thought of searching. Refuses to do so.
So I give him special attention. I call him my 'virtual son'.

I will be reflecting more on your observation re the grief of one loss getting lost in the other loss . Yep, that could be happening.

Thanks again for your kindness .

b