01-24-2006, 06:09 PM
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I Love My Kiddos...
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 6,816
Total Points: 37,234,945.74
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 I am so sorry you have to expeience this heartbreaking aspect of adoption.
We turned down one referral during our adoption process for Arianna...and then accepted Arianna's referral...she was a much higher risk child...with a list of unknowns but it was the 'right' decision for us. We never even had her reviewed until we were on trip #1 and had met her. She was a very high risk referral...but in the end it worked out so well...for her and us. We also know, without a doubt she would have been turned down by most...but God directed her to us at the vital time...(unknown to us at the time...she was gravely ill.)
With Alex, he had been turned once before we got his referral! We thank God every single day that he wasn't accepted by that first family.
Many of us have children who were turned down for whatever reason...so trust that this little one will find the family that can and will be able to handle any potential issues.
Although it is difficult to turn down a referral...it is even harder to accept one when you know you shouldn't...it is a lifelong commitment and does no one, you are the child, any good to put her into the 'wrong' situation.
Only you know what you can or can not accept risk wise...don't beat yourself up...
May the next referral be the 'one."
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Proud Mommy to two...who have taught me I can not change their pasts but I can change me and the way I parent them~
*Yaya~My Siberian Sweetie ~born in 2001~Home 2002~Now 8 and a 'Tween', and in 3rd grade. She's all girl!!! 
*Bubbs~My Samaran Sunshine~born in 2003~Home 2004~now 6, in Kindy and such a sweet, silly & special boy! 
'My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, and while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, Yeah, this, is my wish.'
~"My Wish" by Rascal Flatts
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