[lilifelover]

I send my mother a gift every year on my birthday...usually some unique planter with flowers or something that will stick around for awhile. I started this tradition just before my daughter was born...when I realized how much my mom did for me- she deserved a present on my birthday. After all, she's the one that gave ME birth.

Anyway, my daughter's parents always send me something on my daughter's birthday. Usually it's a card or a box from Dr. Chocolate's or something, and NOW it has evolved into my daughter's birthday being a special day that I can spend with the kids. I'm actually quite honored by this, but they say that every other day of the year is theirs...but my daughter's birthday is a day to honor me and her. Of course we all spend it together, but I make the plans and we set aside the whole day together, have dinner, watch my little girl open her presents... that kind of thing. That is the best present so far and I'm very glad that they think of me as being important to their lives and to the life of my daughter.

I also usually will get a card from them around Mother's Day (just as I send one to the AMom and my own mother). I don't know if any birthmother really appreciates people skirting around Mother's day like it's not their holiday...but it is. I am most appreciative of those who acknowledge me on that day- even if only with a hug! Because of the pain associated with being a Mother away from her child on Mother's Day I don't often go to church that day (it's also embarrassing when they do their little 'presentations' for the mothers and you can't decide what the right thing to do is and everyone knows full well your situation- there is NO guidebook for that kind of thing).

So...I think it was last year or the year before that they called and wished me a Happy Mother's Day for the first time. It is very kind of them, my family (yes, we've become a family), to acknowledge my roll in my daughter's life- even if I'm not parenting. I almost never step up and take that bold of a position myself (mostly out of respect for the APs feelings and fear that it could hurt something) but I do very much cherish those few moments where I am called "Mother" (even if only indirectly) and where I am acknowledged as an important and needed part of my daughter's life.

I know my daughter will grow up seeing the relationship her parents have with me and she will see the openness, compassion and respect we have for one another, and I know she'll be better for it! Plus, since she has almost her entire family close to her (minus the birthfather) she will have access to near every detail, story and key to her past, her life and who she is! I'm excited to see what happens!

Sorry...that kind of rambled along, take from it what you will- just sharing in hopes that it helps someone!