I was away over the weekend, but, I will respond now. My three children are 5 years apart - I was nearly 17 when I gave birth to my first, 22 for the second and 27 for the third. The child I relinquished was my middle son.
So I first began parenting at almost 17. My husband was nearly 5 years older and I imagine that helped though he did little of the parenting, but he did support us so that I did not have to work. Plus, in the beginning, both sets of parents helped us some financially while we were both finishing school.
When I think back about it, I think part of the reason that I was able to successfully parent my daughter was that I just happened to have good natural motherly instincts. Some women have those, some don't - at any age. Plus, whenever I undertake any new task, parenting, a new job, etc. I read and educate myself so that I will be able to do whatever it is well. I didn't grow up with any lofty career ambitions and many women in my generation didn't - being a mom was what I wanted and expected to do. I also attribute part of my success due to my being very motivated and committed to being a good mom. While I know love and motivation aren't everything it takes to be a good mom, I believe we do not give those two factors the credit that they deserve.
I wanted to be a mom - even at 17 - and there is something to be said for that feeling of being invincible and able to do anything that many teens have. Did I know what I was getting myself into? Not really, but, I threw my heart, soul and mind into parenting and no one could have talked me out of it.
Was I a better mom to my last and youngest child? Probably. Not only was I older and had more experience and maturity, but, I knew he would most likely be my last child (and he was). Birth order always makes a difference in one's mothering though and many other factors I believe.
But, both of the children I raised are productive, stable, emotionally healthy adults. I honestly do not think my daughter suffered much, if any, because I was such a young mother. Was I atypical? Maybe, maybe not. I know some women can successfully be young moms - others may not be good moms at any age. There are so many factors involved - for me really being motivated to parent well I think was the biggest factor - and having some good common sense didn't hurt either! While both sets of parents helped us some financially, I did not look to them for advice on parenting - I felt confident that I could handle it.
Don't think it was necessarily much easier to parent when I was older, but, I probably was more relaxed and mature - those factors couldn't have hurted.
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I guess the question I pose there.. is must you give up anything... really? Even without support from parents
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I firmly believe that if anyone REALLY wants to achieve almost anything that they can - children or not. Is it harder to finish college, etc. with children? Sure it is, but, is life supposed to be easy? Does easy teach you much? I think we learn from from pushing our limits and not always taking the easy path.
I was too stubborn and prideful when I relinquished my first son to even ask for help. Now, I know that there is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. Better to ask for help than lose your child because of your pride. I know some women ask for help and can not find it too though.