What are the (extra) struggles and how did you get through them?
I think the extra struggles were outweighed by the good. The only really really tough thing was affording day care. We ended up pulling Karma out of TWO very bad in home day cares. Finally the third was the one she stayed in (we were waiting for an opening forever!) In home was/is cheaper than a day care center. Unfortunately Karma's dad decided when she was three that he wasnt going to pay half of day care if she wasnt in a certified day care and I was forced to put her into a regular center.
Did you use resources?
No, I was working about a bajillion hours making pizza so I managed to be just above the guidelines for recieving aid in pretty much any form. Didnt qualify for housing, day care assistance, or food stamps. I did qualify for WIC ONLY while I was still in high school. I used that for about a year.
Do you think that being a young mom was easier/harder than being older?
I dont think it was easier exactly. The parenting, for me, would have gone about the same. Some days I do wonder how things would have gone if I had placed her. It's almost like, if I'd placed her, then Kara would be with me now. Sort of a very unsettling thought that either way, I'd be without one of my girls. I would have gone to college and done the things I felt that I "needed" to do with my life ages ago if I wasnt a teen parent.
So I guess what I'm saying was the hardest thing about being a teen parent was putting everything I wanted to do with my life on hold so that I could support both of us.
Share your words of wisdom.
I have no wisdom
. Uhm... lets see... rustle up some wisdom...
I think that all women need to really consider what they're missing when they do place and when they do parent and decide which means more.
For example, social workers, ect, give these "assignments" to see what you can do for a child and what someone else could do if you place (I think these are a bunch of BS by the way), but I think something about what are you going to miss if you place and what are you going to miss if you parent would be a better way to go about the decision making process.
When I was a teenager, giving up all the smiles, first steps, first words, sleepless nights, and diapers was put in contrast to giving up college, financial stability, and most likely a better paying job at a younger age.
At that time in my life, I'd rather have given up my dreams of college and financial stability for parenting.
At this point in my life, I chose college and financial stability.
So... do I make ANY sense? LOL.