My struggles were that my parents were adament that my child would be no matter what, I had no support, and, I was basically lied to and coerced by the social workers. I could have solved the problems myself but I didn't have the courage to go it alone.
My parents virtually brainwashed me into thinking that nobody would help me or if they did my parents would have stopped them doing so. I was working so could have financially as well as emotionally looked after my son. Even so I would have been entitled to child as all mothers whether they work or not are entitled to this. I could have got housing through the local council so if I had given up work I would have got housing benefit, council tax benefit and unemployment benefit so working or not I could have coped. I was so beaten down by my parents threats that included making sure I wouldn't get accomodation therefore living on the streets that my son would be taken off me anyway. They also put the fear of God into me not to talk to anybody else.
The social worker treated me badly as well as she knew I didn't want to go through with the adoption yet did nothing to stop it. She encouraged me not to see my son in case I changed mind and go ahead with the adoption. My one act of "rebellion" was to see my son plus spend some time with him. Reality is she did nothing to help nor did she put a stop to the adoption. When he was six weeks old I was told it was too late to put a stop to the adoption but it wasn't until last year I found out that it wasn't too late. It was just a ploy to make sure the adoption went through.
With hindsight I do regret not standing up to my parents or the case worker and had searched for support. However at least I didn't abort him and am fortunate to be in reunion. Even now my parents don't talk about my son even though he has had contact with them longer than me.
Pip
