[angelkisses0102]

1. Honeymoon Period: Time period before the child begins to realize this is not another caretaker situation. The child is not forced to address attachment. Life is going on as before.

2. Testing: How far can the child go before consequences occur? What happens when I do this undesirable behavior? Will I get a new caretaker? Will this one stay?

3. Approach-Avoidance: the child starts to settle in and then backs away when under stress (reverting to old behavior that served them well earlier in life). That it comes and goes, but diminishes in intensity over time. This is why when you have setbacks, they resolve quicker and attachment becomes stronger.

4. Trades Old Behaviors for New: To trade old behaviors for new, you are asking your child to:
a. Trust you that she will be safe
b. Trust you that she does not have to worry
about adult behavior
c. Believe that you are trustworthy.

Remember: Your child is accustomed to adults that frighten, abandon and hurt them. Your child is used to taking care of himself and possibly siblings.

Why would your child change and how will your
child know it is safe to change? Would I (child)
give up things that helped me survive? If I give
them up, can I get it back if I need it?
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1.) For us, we had no honeymoon period. Most of the time this is about 3 to 4 months.

2.) For us, this lasted 11 months.

3.) We have been here for the last 7 months...no end in sight.

4.) Some day...some day....

Here's a little something on phases of attachment in PI kids....I am looking for some more stuff that should help you...
Karen