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If you have a bad relationship with your mother, then I can understand you not wanting to talk to her about this. Do you have an aunt or sibling or close friend that you can trust and talk to? And, as others said, there ARE people out there who can help you.........people who are trained in this kind of situation and who would be GLAD to give you the help and support that you so desperately need. Don't make a hasty decision.........don't try to do this alone. This is probably the biggest decision you will ever make in your life and you need to think about everything......every option.
I pray that God will lead you to someone that you feel comfortable with and who will help you feel less alone.
Bless you...........
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annelisa
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