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Originally Posted By Jerry

and may have some similar issues that we'll have to deal with. There's no easy answer here. Our kids we're working towards (it's almost 9 month's folks!!) have experienced things I've never seen discussed here or few other places for that matter. They have behavior issues that require a lot of patience, control, and well directed consequences (as well as some refresher training on our part). The good news is they have a great caseworker who's genuinely concerned about them, foster parent's that want to help with the placement and still be in their lives, AND US!
I can't emphasis teaming enough. Not one person in the team knows it all or has the best answer, but as a group much can be accomplished for the kids.

By the way, we're a lot of "hugs, eye contact, and reassuring talk" kind of folks anyway........that's probably why I feel so strongly that this method has merit....Every kid we've ever had in our home (and this means pre foster placements,runaways and other troubled souls) reaches a point where they get angry with their birth parent's for not treating them well. You will eventually have to help Rayon with this for every "family" he's ever had. The best advise I've seen on this was from Martha Welch's book. You tell him, "I can't change how you were treated, but if you had been mine then I would have......." Let's them talk about it without raging over it. Then there's always the Gestalt stuff that comes into play ("talking" to their parent's without them being there). Helps them script their feelings, and releive some anxiety.