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I cannot relate to the sentiment : being a mother is the best thing in the world. Forgive my acribic tone, but it has developed from decades of gagging on the bile that filled my mouth, infecting my bitten tongue. Sometimes, if I swallow enough pride, and chase it down with a little temperence, I can speak using the voice God gave me. I will try... <ahem...>
Humor me... 1968 baby girl adopted by couple who already birthed the Messiah's twin brother. Woman of said couple (aka, The Shrew), should have never been given ovaries, let alone a passport and checkbook. Enough said.
Having 4 heathens, I mean, children, of my own, I have made the following observation: There are 3 types of women who raise a child.
1. "Mother". If the word was a means of currency, The Shrew's image would be on the face, and the value would be worthless. When touched, a foul residue would remain on the skin of the unfortuante holder, reminding future innocents, avoid contact.
2. "Mommy". If the word was a color, it would be bubble gum pink, and would smell of Hope, Life, and Love -- just as God had intended Her to be.
3. "Mom". If the word was a person, she would be the little girl who had a Mother, but wants to be a Mommy, but will have to accept she can only be a Mom.
I want others to know there are some things a person can never have as a Second Chance. There are some things and people, who become Nothing from Something. There are some people who should consider owning a dog or cat, first. There are some women who should never be given an opportunity to be Blessed to have a child, and there are some who should be fined for assuming the title, Mom or Mommy. There are no second chances with a child's life, but a swift, closed-door stroke of a pen says a Second Chance is Just as Good. See? The raised stamp of approval says so!
Before the debate ensues: I am humbled that my mom had the courage to keep me in her body, allowed me the chance to breathe-in room air, and had the selflessness to offer a part of Her own Self, to a complete stranger, in hopes the stranger will take care of Her Baby. I am afraid to come face-to-face to such a woman of strength & courage. I could never allow myself to break her as I know the eyes of her baby girl will do to her. The windows of the soul betray the shades of silence, and reveal My Story to anyone who has the heart of a Mommy.
I am revolted that women like the shrew exist, making me incapable of ever trusting a woman's ability to be a Mommy. I am disgusted that Abusive, Neglectful self-absorbed adoptive mothers exist, but escape condemnation for fear ALL Adoptive Moms will become bait for the fangs of justice. I am profoundly numb with loss that the Baby who is meant to be a Blessing, becomes a curse, burdened with this secret of inner-death, so Others will not have to feel the discomfort of Reality.
I am grateful I am able to indulge my need to spew verbal poison from the mind of a Girl who wants to be a mommy to her 4 children, but will never be able, because Shrews ARE real... and THIS is what others MUST know.
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