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SW -
Know that you are not the only person who has ever felt this way. You would be doing the children a disservice if you kept them out of guilt.
Please, allow yourself to grieve their leaving. I always (even after 35 kids) let myself have one night when the kids are in bed when I allow myself to cry, if I feel like it. The tears are healing and should be allowed to flow. I'm not saying to go overboard, but do allow yourself to feel. I usually cry for about an hour and then, even though I still feel the loss, I am able to handle it so much better.
It never gets easier, but I have found that if I 'let go and let God' share my grief that it helps tremendously.
Talk with another, more experienced foster parent in your area, if possible. Their physical hugs can work wonders.
Sending cyber-hugs and prayers your way.
Blessings,
Lynda
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