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We did adopt out of birth order this last time. Our newest daughter came home at 10yrs last Feb (can it be nearly one year??). Our sons are 11yrs and 9yrs. We also have four older daughters, 15yrs and three in college. We felt it would be fine, since it wasn't another boy we were adding between. I would not have wanted to "disrupt" the relationship our sons have with another boy between. It has been very interesting, adding a "twin". These three compete quite a bit, but they also get along or are independent enough with different interests, that it's working fine. The squabbles come from the boy/girl differences.

The concerns about an older child's history are very real. Be certain you aren't putting your younger children at risk by adding a child who might vicitmize them in any way. All three of our kids came from the same small orphanage, all having lived there since infancy up to age 2yrs. We knew their history and the care they'd received. Not to say children can't become victims in such a setting, but our agency has worked with this director for nearly 20yrs and we felt very confident. We are currently in process for a 9yr old girl we met on our daughter's pickup trip...from the same orphanage. Again, we are confident of her history, having also been there since infancy. We don't know if she is older or younger than our youngest son, but apparently, we will have two sets of "twins". (God has a sense of humor. I always wanted twins, since my mom has a twin brother. Two sets? How funny is that?) Though this is another girl, we don't feel we will be disrupting a relationship between two of the same sex, since our oldest daughter still at home is in HS. We think this will only add to the fun and rucus! More competition...but as long as it's "friendly", it might only help them become the best at what they do. This pickup trip, I'm keeping my eyes closed when we visit the orphanage...sure, I am...

My hats off to anyone who has a heart for children "with history" and "issues". Those beautiful children also need the love and support of a family. It's a very special calling.