|
I have to agree with the others that suggesting adoption to this young woman would be way out of line. That would be closing your mind to the idea that a young mother could in fact raise and love her own child. It will be hard yes, but not impossible and with her familes support it will probably be a great success. I have to speak for the bmoms who at a young age (I was 15) had our choices made for us by people who believed they knew what our capabilities were. MANY of us had no support and were told by our own mothers/parents that we were not keeping our children. We were told we were not good enough, smart enough,stable enough, or any number of derogatory things. We were shut away from the world, cut off from our friends and shamed by our familes. Why...........because we fell in love with a boy and we dared to dream about a child. We were scared but we knew we loved our unborn children. How many stories would have ended differently if our parents would have put aside their anger and said "This will be hard but I am here for you". It takes years to undo the feelings of worthlessness that can be given to you by an unsupportive family. It is hard to believe that anyone can approve of you if your own family does not, and that can play havoc on future relationships. My daughters I have raised are now 17 and 19 and so far have made good choices in their lives. I believe in them enough to know that if they do become pregnant,by accident or choice they will be good, capable mothers. I will be there to support any decisions they make and provide a vote of confidence when they need it. That I believe is what parents do. This young lady is very lucky to have her family and the baby she is carrying will bring joy to them. Your friend may be devestated at the moment but I bet she will adore her grandchild. Be there for them in a positive way.
Kitti
|