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Speaking as someone who has had 2 successful fost/adopt situations and a failed one, We would NEVER do it again. When we lost T to reunification it was very difficult for everyone in our family. Since our sons were both fost/adopt and we were able to adopt them they took it very hard when T was reunified. They wanted to keep her, and her loss was another for them to add to their own.
We moved on to straight adoption, technically we waited a year, but because DYFS goofed up on paperwork (we weren't listed as waiting for the first 6 months) it officially took us 6 months to find our daughters. We actually found them because of Just Babies. The girls are older with some special needs, but they are ours. TPR is long gone and once they move in they're here to stay. Emotionally it's much easier on us all.
So I completely understand your spouse.
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 Adoptive Mommy 
To 3 Busy Boys
 6 years old
 6 years old
 3 years old
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