[moelladeville]

I am adopting out of birth order. I have two boys, almost 3 yrs old and just 1. My daughter-to-be is seven. I did a lot of the homework, and conventional wisdom is, as those here have said, don't adopt out of birth order. I spoke to my physician at our international adoption clinic in Philly, who herself adopted out of birthorder, and she said definitely don't adopt the same sex. There are a lot of concerns as Melissa mentioned. I, too, went through foster care training and heard some nightmares. For that reason, I chose to visit my daughter before I accepted the referral, and I brought my older boy along to see how it would work out. That's no guarantee, I know, but it helped my peace of minds.

So my advice (not having completed my adoption yet) is do the research and understand as much as you can what you may be in for. Good luck to you -- I hope it all works out.

Marjorie