[Tammi5143]

Hi There -

First, let me start off my saying that your spouse is not being unreasonable ... maybe realistic.

The fost/adopt program is just that - to foster the child, with the intent to adopt, should that child become legally free for adoption.

This is a risky program - but the risk was worth it to me. I was able to have infants, straight home from the hospital, and am now in the process of finalizing my 4th adoption. Please, don't take me wrong - it is a risky program. My 1st and 3rd adoptions seemed to take years off of me - the chance of reunification, etc. My 2nd and 4th adoptions were a breeze!

There is always that chance of reunification with the birth parents and/or birth family if you get a placement through fost/adopt program. BUT there is that chance that the child will remain with you forever, and you will be his/her "forever family".

If your spouse does not feel that she can go through the possible loss of a child placed with you through the fost/adopt program, then this may not be the route for you to take. And being realistic, you can let her know that it is very, very, very, very rare for an infant to be in the fost/adopt program that has parental rights terminated. In fact, I am not sure if I have ever heard of any children that are already legally free, that are infants, that are in this program. Some older children (maybe 2 and up) could be in this program, where TPR is already pending. This is a less risk of losing the child.

If your spouse wants to go straight adoption, then there is a wait. You will have to go through the training, be matched, and the child will be older, and may come with special needs. Take a look at the Heart Gallery website - you can see some of the children on there. But, not all of the children that are legally free are out on this website.

Regarding whether or not they are the same class, you should call the agency and make sure that the training is that for fost/adopt and foster care. It should be, since the training is basically all lumped into one training now.

I hope I have provided some help - please e-mail me or let me know if you need clarification on anything.

Good luck to you both in your endeavor!