[Tammi5143]

Please don't think that all children placed in your care are "reunited" with their birth parents and/or family. That is not the case, especially depending on the "route" (foster, fost/adopt, adoption) that you want to take.

I have been involved with DYFS since February 1999. Our oldest son, now 6 1/2, was placed with us in June '99. His adoption was long, and hard! He was placed through the fost/adopt program. 27 months later, he was ours. There were a lot of ups and downs, but our strength kept us going. Our 2nd son was placed with us in January 2002, when he was 2 weeks old, also through fost/adopt. We finalized his adoption 15 months later. (He is now 4). We also have a daughter (foster at the moment, pending adoption) that is almost 3. This has been our longest one yet, but she was placed with us as a foster placement, and 3 years later, she is almost legally ours! And our youngest daughter, 2 1/2, was also through fost/adopt and finalized before she was a year old.

So, the fost/adopt program is risky, but worth it, in my opinion. If you want an infant, this is the way to go.

Foster care is rewarding but at the same time, hard. Since the summer, I have had 3 placements through foster care. One of my children went on to a therapeutic foster home, another (after 4 months!) went to his aunt and uncle whom I have a great, great relationship with (and he is doing wonderful!), and I currently have a placement that is 2 1/2 years old, first time in the foster system. Doing foster care, I know the children will be reunited (hopefully) with their birth parents and/or birth family. But, having 4 children already, this is the path that I want to take in order to help children get the love and care that they need until they go into their forever home. If you do not want to take "the risk" that this child may or may not remain with you, I definitely would not do straight foster care.

Then there is adoption - legally free children, no ifs ands or buts. The children are usually older, and some may have special needs. If you want to have NO chance whatsoever of reunification, this is the ONLY way to go.

If I can help at all, please just let me know. As I said I have been involved with DYFS for almost 7 years now. I am a member on the CPR Board of Middlesex County, I am a Co-Trainer for the training sessions in Middlesex County, and I am in the process of becoming a SHP home, and I am very, very active with DYFS. Maybe I can help answer some questions that you may have.

Good luck!

Tammi