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Hmmm ... this is a hard one. This post is not really qualified because our daugher decided to parent her son and we had horrible adoption contacts but we were asked to be honest ...
Almost one year ago my dearest friends offered open adoption as an easy way of resolving the issue of my daughter's unplanned prengnancy. We earnestly and seriously explored open adoption with our daughter. We thought open adoption meant a future relationship with a new extended family. Instead we found couples who offered begrudgingly a "few pictures a year" and "a letter at holidays" as "open" adoption. When we asked for contact, the answer was, "well, we really didn't have that in mind" or "yes, to start but that will have to be evaluated every year".
Then after reading the horror stories on the WEB about mothers who are promised contact with their children and then denied and adoptive parents who have total disrepect for birth parents, we realized that open adoption was a huge risk. We looked at written agreements and were advised by our lawyer that they are not worth the paper that they are written on, even in states where they are legal.
After a month of research we felt that open adoption was a offered as a carrot - a scam to get a baby with as little "investment" as possible. We decided that a thousand sleepless nights with a crying baby in our house and a hundred extra health insurance payments do not equal the risk of never seeing a family member again.
Happy G'Ma
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