[mikiment]

There are no easy answers, I know. You may want to consider in-home daycare with a trusted friend or family member to help him transition more easily. Or, sorry to say, but if your gut says he's not ready, that just may be the case and you may have to make other arrangements.

One little sidebar: just my most humble opinion, but I would strongly encourage you to ALWAYS say goodbye to your child rather than just "disappear," even if they are happily playing and it causes some initial tears at the parting. Personally, I think that for a child, the idea that Mommy or Daddy can simply vanish when you're not paying attention can be very unsettling and cause major security issues, and our kids have already had significant people disappear from their lives. We want to provide a strong, secure base for them where they know they can trust us to keep our word to them, and to be there for them. Children can get very panicky at the idea that parents disappear with no advance warning, and may start following you room to room or screaming if you are temporarily out of sight, worried that if they can't see you, you've vanished somehow. Security is a very big deal.

When we leave Chris or Alex with my mother on infrequent occasions, or even if I just run to the store and leave DH alone with the kids, I always say Goodbye with hugs and kisses (not a huge production, just pretty matter of fact but lovingly!) and add the words, "Mommy ALWAYS comes back. See you soon!" Then I walk straight out, even if there are tears (yes, sometimes mine if they are really upset!)

Then when I come back in, I immediately go to them and give hello kisses, saying, "See? Mommy ALWAYS comes back! " Even though they are young, I think this helps foster an understanding and a security comfort level that parents come back, they don't just disappear without warning. Just my two cents worth, and I certainly don't wish to offend. It's just something you may want to consider.

Best of luck with whatever you end up doing. I know these are the tough decisions and sometimes there are no good options, but just know we will certainly be here to help support you whatever you decide.