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I Know how you feel
I have had the same exact thoughts and feelings. A support group is a good idea. Some states have buddy systems through DCF or Adoption organizations where they will pair you up with anotheradoptive parent and you could just talk on the phone if that is all you want. Because other people (People who have not taken on a special needs child) are often not sympathetic, and can even be turned off by what you say. Ask about post-adoptive services and support through the state, or if your state knows of other organizations that offer these services. Is she seeing a therapist? If so her therapist could help you with techniques on how to work with her. I also recommend the book 1,2,3, magic.
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