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Hi Amy,
DH's nephew used to have a fascination with the grill. Not quite the same, but still pretty dangerous.
The only thing that helped, was when I was watching Oprah, many many years ago with burn victims.
I called the nephew in, and told him to look at the people. He said they looked like monsters. I told him they are not monsters but they were burned very badly and if he continues to play near a grill or a hot stove when we ask him not to, he could get burned, too. And I told him that the scar on their skin, is nothing compared to the pain that they feel. I tried not to traumatize him, and I don't think that I did, but it worked.
Good luck. It's a very serious problem, as is the lying. It's great you're aware and handling it. Maybe when DH sees that speaking and words work, he'll feel less inclined to spank.
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