Hi there! I know where I am (Rhode Island) you can have someone babysit a foster child as long as they are at least 18 and the child's SW has done a background check on them. You just can't leave the child with the babysitter for longer than 24 hrs.
I am engaged now but was a single parent to 4 very young children (2,3,5,7) when I re-entered the dating scene 8 yrs ago. It never seemed to scare potential dates away and that was probably because men see me as a very independent, successful woman who also just happens to be a mom of 4 (now 7!). The men I did date usually told me it was my independence and the fact that I was able to support myself without a man is what attracted them to me. Usually when a man sees a woman with child(ren) in tow they will get scared
away if they think the woman is just looking for someone to take care of her and her kids. I remember being asked out, within weeks of each other, by a single-dad in my girl's ballet class and also the bakery manager at the market I shopped at and thinking "Good God! Don't they see all the kids I have? If I was them I would go screaming down the street in the opposite direction!"
But the funnist thing I remember is being approached by a very ethnic
Portuguese nieghbor (his family was straight from Portugal) with a marriage proposal (I had only dated him a couple of times at this point). Apparently his family thought it was time for him to get married and figured since I was so good with kids, I was the perfect canidate! I kindly turned him down and are still good friends with him today. I was recently asked out by a professor friend (I was in one of his classes a few years ago and we became friends) and the fact that I now have 7 kids to tend to didn't bother him a bit. Of course my finacee wasn't too happy about him asking! But again, it was my independence that caused his attraction to me. I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't think that being a foster parent will detract men from wanting to go out with you and it is a good way to weed out the men who don't like children. Of course, on the other end of the spectrum, be careful of who you do go out with and make sure they are not asking you out just to get access to your children (child molesters ect)
Just because you become a parent (bio or foster) doesn't mean your life has to stop. We all need to "get out" once in awhile and be adults. As long as we put our kids first, we shouldn't feel guilty about needing some "me" time. I think it makes me a better parent to get away from the kids for a few hours and recharge my batteries. I try to get out maybe once a month but I will admit it has been a couple of months since I've gotten out with my fiancee because transitioning the girls is taking most of time nowadays.