My husband and I were married 7 1/2 years before we adopted a 2 and 3 year old a year ago. We too were freaked out about the change. My husband adjusted really well...me not as well. He came from a family of four so he was more used to the dynamic. I was the only child of a single parent...big difference!
Initially your life will REALLY change. As time goes on, you learn how to bring elements of your "past" life back on. We were determined to keep certain things. We did not sell our beautiful beach condo for a suburban home. The kids love it here and are doing fine. We did not trade our convertible Beetle in for a "family car". Our car seats four...therefore...it fits our family perfectly. We love to ride bikes so we bought a bike trailer to take the kids with us. We love to eat out so we taught them proper restaurant behavior and keep a supply of crayons and small coloring books in our backpacks. We love going to reggae shows so we keep our eyes out for ones that aren't in clubs that we can take the kids to. They love it. We love hiking...they are learning to. Initially we didn't do these things. We were so preoccupied with learning how to be parents that we didn't do enough of our "old stuff". But...over the year, we have found a happy medium between our "pre-kids" and our "post-kids" lives.
One thing I would HIGHLY recommend is a book called "The Post-Adoption Blues : Overcoming the Unforseen Challenges of Adoption" by Karen J. Foli, John R. Thompson. I know...it sounds awful to think about "blues" but it does address many of the issues you are worried about. I would have gotten through the first few months of our placement a lot easier had I read it then.
I wish you luck! I know it is a scary leap to take! But trust me...after a year...and not an easy one, might I add...I wouldn't take my old life back for anything!
