[sunnyandi13]

I've joined this discussion a little late, and I hope that my opinion may add a different perspective to this debate...

Do any of you remember being spanked as a child? How did it make you feel? Did it get the message across that you did something bad or that you were bad and needed to be punished? Did you grow up to accept being "hit" or "punished" by other people?

I only ask these questions, because in my opinion they are the truest indicator of what spanking will and wonn't do...

My parents were both believers in corporal punishment. I can tell you each and every time I got a spanking as a child - why? Because when my mother started spanking, she didn't stop until she wasn't mad anymore. I can remember one time vividly, we were to attend a festival / parade that weekend and I was asked to run something over to a neighbor's house (I was about six at the time). This neighbor had a habit of giving kids treats all the time and this time, since everyone was in a hurry, she "forgot", so I asked her for some candy... when I got home with the candy, my mother asked if I had "begged" for it. I hadn't "begged" in my child's mind, so I answered, "no". After the neighbor called my mother (a few minutes later) to thank her for the item, my mother repeated the question to her. The neighbor stated "no, she didn't beg, she just reminded me that I forgot" - to the neighbor it was a "cute" thing.

The logical consequence, if my mother had really wanted to reinforce not asking for food or treats, would have been for me to miss the festival. But instead, she was angry that she would miss it too and thus chose to spank instead. Spankings in my house were conducted, not with open hand or even belt, but with an old wooden ping-pong paddle with holes drilled in it - on bare skin, not clothing. I can remember loosing count after 15 whacks with that d*mn paddle... I couldn't sit at all that day and was even sore walking for a couple of days after that.

Now-a-days, I know that would be considered child abuse, but my mother honestly thought she was being a good parent by teaching me about punishment, rather than consequences.

So, I would ask those of you who are debating this, think of how you felt as a child, if/when you were spanked or how you would feel as an adult if someone proposed to physically punish you instead of allowing the natural, logical consequences to come about?

I hope not to get flamed over this, and I only tell you this deeply personal story as I was one of those kids who grew up "spanked", hating every minute of it and learning some "incorrect" lessons - like it's okay if your first husband almost killed you with physical abuse, because he did it "out of love".

Just another person's perspective... food for thought?