[waitinginnj]

I didn't necessarily know that a child needed to part of my family, but after the death of fiance several years ago I knew that I wasn't supposed to be alone either.

The new personal relationships never amounted to anything permanent and I considered adoption off and on. I had this mental note that "when I was 40".

Well, at 38, I was like why do I have to wait until 40 to have more joy in my life? My life was getting way to focused on work - so I announced on Christmas Eve 2002 that there would be a new family member by Christmas 2003.