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First off Jenna, the idea of having to go back to work so soon after having a baby is completely foreign and overwhelming to me. I cant imagine having to face it, and I am so sorry you are.
I can only fathom, but is it possible that you are holding back a bit because of knowing that you have to leave him all day, all week to work? The fear of facing those feelings of having to hand your baby over to another care taker might be connected, in some psychological way, to you having to leave your daughter? And as such you are protecting your heart and mind?
Those first 3 months or so with a newborn are INTENSE, and the first 6 weeks are absolutely brutal. You are JUST recovering from birth, and just getting to know each other.
And please, know that PPD (and not even full PPD) can affect your feelings of bonding. Be aware, and seek out help if you need it!
Praying for you!
Jen
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Jensboys - Mom of 4 Boys (2 adopted, 2 biological)  Reunited Sister
Blogging about reunion with our 13 year old, Not reuniting with our 12 year old, transracial parenting, adoption and life as a minority family in a rural community.
'Oh, the audacity of authenticity. You’re going to confuse, piss-off and terrify lots of people – including yourself. You're going to pray it ends, then pray it never ends.' -- Brené Brown |