Ugh, that first day back to work is awful. I HATED it. Fortunately, I only work part-time so I wasn't gone every day.
Have you had any time just for yourself (and NO, I don't mean going to work
)? Really, without Josh, without Nicholas?
It took me weeks and weeks to feel in control of anything, let alone to know that I was bonding with Natalie the whole time and I wasn't recuperating from birth. I still sometimes feel things are out of control- probably the main reason why we're not rushing into adopting #2, even though we will eventually.
Don't worry so much about whether you are talking silly talk with Nicholas or just holding him and staring. I did a lot of staring at Natalie when she was new. Tim was the "goofy guy".
A lot of the feelings I think you are having are typical of being a new mom. It isn't just you
I can't give you the perspective of being a birthmom mixed up in it. But just know that you aren't alone in those feelings.
Also, post partum depression doesn't always appear right after birth, it can take a few weeks to become noticeable. Please, please, please promise me that if you feel like you can't shake this, you will talk to your doctor...
((((more hugs))))
